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Earth
Earth is a Steaming pile of shit planet where all people get to eat shit and die live along with all of the UNSC politicians are corrupt sitting there,masturbating to porntana, talking about what they COULD do, but not about what they ARE doing. The politicians do nothing except sit on a chair, discussing what to do about their political party while the Cockmunchers massacre their little Intergalactic Cocks armada. It is the planet of the vile alien race commonly called "Humans". These creatures, resembling fur-less apes with small dicks, are bent on galactic domination and will destroy anything that gets in their way. Led by their clinically insane ruler, the Government of the United Nations (AKA UNSC,) they have slaughtered tens of thousands of the Grunty and Adorable species of the Covenant, nuked hundreds of innocent planets, destroyed numerous ancient whorerunner relics, wiped out the peaceful Aids, and loitered in no-loitering zones. The only thing stopping these monsters is the Arsebiter leading the Elite squads, but even the Arsebiter himself has been fooled into helping these vermin. They are so evil Bungie made bunch of games based on them. Appearance Well, silly child, Earth is the largest piece of pollution in history. The atmosphere is composed mostly of toxic nitrogen, oxygen, carbon, and some methane. Cities are made of wood and rock. All citizens work in Wal-Mart and get payed so low, it's work or die! In fact, contrary to UNSC propaganda, the citizens actually did want to be captured by the Covenant instead of being tortured in a 3-hour job where they get paid only 5,000 cR each hour. There you have it. Earth: the biggest failure in history. Species Earth as many species such as hippos,cows,snakes,tigers,elephants,oliphantes,monkies,chinese people,and kittens but match up to humans because humans are awesome,well before everyone got Bieber fever and died!So yah Humans are extinct except for Chuck Norris because he cool wait we can't forget Adam Sandler he survived because he makes me laugh from weird places! History Yes, we know this planet sucks. But, let's see how it came to be in this timeline...made in Earth! Oh no! <--''Corrupt Memory''--> ? - 4000 B.C.: Nothing much. Only that humans started conquering other species like the walnut, walrus, fish, hummingbird, and others. Humans would later be the technological, economical, sociological, mathematical, and political leader in the race of species. Though, they would lose that leading role in the Dark Ages... 4000 B.C. - 1200 B.C.: At this time, humans were growing stronger and started making empires with bizarre names. Most species were eliminated by humans. The humans would later regret this so much that a group called "eco-terrorists" would rise, but do little to do to help the damage already done. 1200 B.C. - Now A.D.: Democracy arrived with dictatorship, censorship, communism, fascism, global warning, and others at its side. <--''Corrupt Memory''--> '''Now A.D. - 2012 A.D.: '''Some kid divides by zero and the world blows-up. Sources of Failure It is against the law to be sad, for the entire world is perfect, yet Earth still sucks! This because of: *George Dubya Bush *Bungie *Barack Obama *Homophobics *People who talk on the phone during movies *Your mother *Michael Jackson (At least he's gone) *Rapists *4chan *Arseholes *Pennywise the Clown *slow internet connections *shitlordpedia *Bad people that stalk you at night *The fat people that go to McDonald's every day *Dhruve Patel *Red Ring of Death (Dammit!!!) *Red Dot of Death (And again... DAAAMMMMMNN IT!) *Pedo-Bear *(insert political joke here) *(insert internet meme here) *Humans *Justin Bieber(EPIC FUCKING FAIL) *People who want change for a counterfeit 100-dollar bill *Noobs *You *Justin Beiber *Justin Beiber *Justin Beiber *Justin Beiber *Justin Beiber *Justin Beiber *Justin Beiber *Dustbin Jeeber *Terrell Owens *Carlos Mencia *Everyone that lives in Nebraska *Osama Bin Laden *Bitchy Women *Axl Rose *Crash Bandicoot *Hitler *Britany Spears *Paris Hilton *Kids cartoon channels *Ronald McDonald *Ren And Stimpy *You *Swag fags *Steve jobs *Motherfucking_Matthew( Uber fail! But, you could migrate to the planet Bahalo and be forever stoned~